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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Wherever You Are Now...

I warn you, malungkot tong post ko na ito.
But if you're a mother and you have a mother, read on.

I vividly remember the memories, even it happened 17 years ago.
I was sitting in a rocking chair that she used to sit and sing lullabies for us.
I was waiting for my 3 siblings to arrive from school.
I was waiting for them to hear the saddest news I have ever conveyed to three young kids, ages 15, 12 and 7.

"She's gone. She's gone now."

After 10 years that I was gone, travelling from different places and different countries,
nakauwi din ako. Me and my wife scheduled a time na bisitahin ang malamig and napakalungkot na lugar where my Mom was buried.

My cute and kikay sister painted Mom's tomb with color "Yellow" saying she was touched by the death of Cory and the yellow color that the late president and heroine will be always remembered. So don't wonder if it's colored yellow. :)

Our Mom is also our hero, infact, more than a hero, she is the best mother in this world...for us, her sons and daughter.

I was crying when we get there, and my loving wife hugged me and tapped me at the back. I cannot contain the heaviness that I was feeling deep within my heart, and the disappointments over the many dreams I have for her that was not realize. And oh, the happiness and joy we are experiencing now, and wished she too would have experience the same.

I cannot deny that my mind and my heart was still feeling hurt with what happened nearly 18 years ago, despite of the assurances that we will be together again one day, because I have just simple, and oh, it was only a simple dream for my mother, and I couldn't realize them now.

I just want her to have a little comfort in life, go shop to the malls and buy her favorite dress or shoe, dine out with her with my small family, cook her favorite foods with the comfort of technologies and appliances, and have her attend to her garden and orchids in the front yard.

Just that. Just that.

Today is her birthday, she is 58th years old now.

Happy happy Birthday!

Wherever you are, I terribly miss you, Mom. And I know you are happier now, but I am still hoping some many many years to come, we will be able to shop, dine, and play at your garden...


in Heaven.



bhing said...

malungkot pero dapt p rn tayo sumaya kc alam ntin na nasa magandang kinalalagyan n siya

nasan man siya ngyon for sure she is very proud of you.

Ken said...

Salamat Bhing. I guess thats the olnly thing we have to do, to do good things for them watching us, to be proud of us, their living legacy.

RJ said...

Pakiramdam ko nakikita na rin ng iyong namayapang ina kung ano at sino ka na ngayon, Mr. Thoughtskoto. I am sure masaya na rin s'ya.

Very meaningful ang dilaw na pintura, bayani ang inyong ina sa puso niyong magkakapatid... At para sa mga KaBlogs at kasapi ng PEBA kayo ang bayani Mr. Thoughtkoto--> DNA test isn't needed, nasa dugo at nasa genes. U

eRLyN said...

im sure your mom is happy now. :)

off topic: care to exchange links? :)

The Pope said...

I knew how it feels to lose a mother, likewise I lost both of my mom and dad when I was a boy.

God has His own way of telling me, "Hey kid, I have to recall your parents back to Paradise, I need them both for a new mission in the Glory of my Name. Don't cry and don't be sad, I'll never leave you by My side, with your faith, I'll always hold your hand day and night."

Marvz said...

waaaaaaaaaa.... my mom just passed away last year... nalungkot naman ako bigla... anyway... life must go on... anyway... nice blog by the way... :D

Life Moto said...

may her memory inspire you and may life be your guide. it is nicest moment of our life to know that there is a mother that always be there for us.

BlogusVox said...

Sinong anak ang hindi magsasabing ang kanilang ina ang pinakadakilang nilalang na nakilala nya?

Mangilan-ngilan lang siguro...

JTG (Misalyn) said...

You made me cry with this post, kakatapos ko pa lang namang umiyak dahil sa bagong post ko ngayon waaaaaaaaaaaa.

Nakakarelate ako, my father died because of cancer at yung mga isinulat mo dito na gusto mo sanang ibigay sa kanya eh halos parehong pareho ng gusto ko rin sanang ibigay sa tatay ko.

Oh my...its monday morning and I really feel like crying again.

Ken said...

* Doc RJ, Thank you very much for your humbling words.

* Erlyn, sure, sure. Please add us to your sites sidebar and we will be happy to add you to ours.

* The Pope. Thank you. Im sorry that you lost both when you're young too. It makes us sad, it makes us stronger as well.

*marv, thank you. Been to your site, seems that youre into computer stuffs and gaming! hehe

* Thank you Jess. Mother is the great and noblest calling in this world. I agree with you.

* Blogusvox, Sir, right. It is ironic that the only commandment given to Moises at Mt. Sinai with a promise is to honor our mother and father...and our days will be long.