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Saturday, February 14, 2009

February 14 Journal Entries Since 1994 to 2004

Below are some of the compilations and excerpts of my February 14 Journal entries since 1994. Please forgive my grammars, sipunin pa po ako nuon. hehe
I also would like to warn you, the entries are full of cheesy and corny stuffs, so I were you, don't read, just comment! haha!
February 14, 1994 (MTR)
I know it is a month of love; I am really in love. I wish we can talk but I just don’t have the courage to tell you how and what I feel. I thought I am a man, and wanted to act like a man. But I realize I am just a simple boy, this lanky short, skinny young man had nothing to offer the girl who has almost everything, beauty, brain, material things, family, and freedom to live itself. 
I have to live each day; sometimes bearing the pain of things by working with my hands just to survive .It is not a story to tell, but a reality that really happens. I do not have the power to change my life for a moment but I have the power to change the direction of the path I am traversing.
 I was not born in this fate, the fate to fail. 
I was born a winner, a special son of my Father in Heaven. 
This boy came here because my Father wanted me to grow strong, faithful, and true. 
He did not send me here destined to fall and wallow in self-pity and mediocrity. And though I don’t have a card cut into heart shape today, I have a heart that is alive, kind, and caring, something that cannot be seen everyday but can be felt. I hope you can feel that, my love.
February 14, 1996(MTR)
Everybody is busy; friends and pals greeted me happy Valentines Day. I just think of you today, and tonight when I arrived home from the on-the-job training, I wrote a loveletter to you. That’s what I do. Tonight, I wrote to you some questions that needed some answers. I ask if you love me, to please reply to this letter. Perhaps, you would learn to love me too someday, just give me this one more chance. (Everyday since I mailed that letter, I kept on dropping by the post office hoping to receive a reply from you. I waited in vain. Now, I decided to stop this craziness for you for the last time.)
February 14, 1998(MTR)
...I look at my hands, and think how many times that it touches your right hand? I think this is the only part that touches the two of us, whenever we met at the church and shook each other’s hand. But, somehow, there is a much deeper touch that you did to my heart even it was not touched by you - YOU TOUCHED MY VERY SOUL. I close my eyes. How many times did we talked and exchanged words to each other? Can only be counted by my fingers, right? But I think every time our eyes met, we spoke things that no one quite understood except you and me. I also have so much fear and disguise that time. I quickly surrender my eyes when we are staring at each other, afraid that you might see the secret I’ve been keeping for years, the love in my eyes. Can you not see it? Years had passed, many things happened. The hand that touches your right hand had been bruised and calloused as I worked to survive and live life with a little comfort. The magic of these small fingers in writing what I felt is amazing to me. The heart that was quickened by your memory sometimes feels pain, sadness, and joy but the love for you remain to be strong and true. These eyes, these eyes had seen the light and truth and sometimes will shed tears of sorrows and disappointments and joy and happiness, but it did not change its look to you…" Somehow, this is real love...
February 14, 1999
(This is the last poem and last communication sent to MTR while I am on my mission.)
Five years had passed, No one answered, Nobody knows, I kept it- though it hurts me.
I fooled myself.
LOVE-if it’s not you, then who?
We will meet again.

When? How?
I don’t know. I need to ask. I want to know. I’ll keep it, if it hurts me,
I’m not a fool.
LOVE - if it’s not me, then who?

We will meet again.
In HIS time.
Through HIS will.
I have no hope,
If it’s you,
If it be me,
HE knows it all.
He knows me.

I love you still, and will always will even until eternity.


February 14, 2000(F2R)
...I was wishing that someday, somehow, somewhere, I will smile to a girl and that would be the start of the love I am hoping for. I dream that someday, somehow, somewhere, I will sit beside a girl and that will be the start of the love I am dreaming of...They say that 'if you meet a girl in whose presence you feel a desire to achieve, who inspires you to do your best, and to make the most of yourself', you found Love. They say that 'if you meet someone who will hold you at your weakest, see you at your ugliest, and love you at your worst, then YOU FOUND LOVE'. Today, I found a girl turning to be a woman in the fold of God. Today I found love, real and true and lasting, YOU.

February 14, 2001 (F2R)
...I waited for you so long though I know that someday, you will come with your wonderful arrow. Whoever you are, I know you will. I just don't know when, where and what will be the circumstance. I never thought all I have to do is simply turn around and there you were, reaching your hand to hold me and fill my life with so much love and joy. So simple that when I look into your eyes, I know it is you I've been waiting for.
No sensational revelation. No fanfare. No dramatic lines.
Quietly, you just came and your hand fits mine and holds me along the way. 
(As I lead you along the way) Thank you for coming into my life.

February 14, 2002 (F2R)
Unexpectedly, you came into my life
The very first time I saw you, love was around
Captured my mind and my very heart
I longed to see you always and hold your dainty hands.
I closed my eyes before the night ends
Reminiscing the days, memory of your lovely face
The sweet smiles, the tantalizing eyes
It soothes the soul - gives meaning to my life!
Admittedly, this feeling will always be secretly keep
But throbbing in my heart, occupying my thoughts and dreams
Sometimes it is painful, sometimes difficult to explain
But it will remain with me, until the time to reveal.
Am I madly in love, lose my sanity or decent obsession?
Enchanted, potioned, blinded, or undying admiration
Call me everything, but girl you're all I wanted
The greatest gift I longed to receive.
When faith is all I have and hope is wavering,
The difference between us is like Heaven and Earth
Let the fate decide, let faith and miracle be made
And God be thanked for your wonders!

February 14, 2003 (F2R)
...You almost fill my thoughts all the time these past few months. I do not know what have I done to suffer this madness (and what's in you that I am crazy with) that is to think of you almost everyday of my life since I met you. I wonder who will be powerful enough to replace your memory in my heart and in my mind for truly, I am inspired. I wanted to forget you. I really tried. But almost every week when we meet and talk and exchange smiles, words and looks, I can help but love you more and wished I am a charming prince to capture your admiration. I look into your eyes, I think I saw a flickering hope that somehow you might like me too, but I don't want to assume…

February 14, 2004 (F2R)
...But for someone like me, those worries are under control, they will not blur my perspective in pursuing for a better life. I know it feels heavy, no, it is taking its toll, a little discouraging at times, a little scary but somehow, God and love gives me so much inspiration to carry on, to hold on, coupled with my faith that God is at the helm of all this things. I was watching Small Ville, the series I've been following through because I feel like the hero there, his love, and his life, in his secret, in his desire to live a normal and happy life. Everyday for me is like a TV series with all its challenges, its worries, and many complicated things. Like SMALLVILLE, I feel like Clark Kent, the boy-turn-into-superhero who always take people out of mess or protect them from dangers and harm. I may not be as hunk and handsome as Clark, I may not have superpowers like laser eyes, steel body, speed of light or the ability to fly. I may not have the capacity to safeguard people from harm but I always feel like him...I wanted to be true to you, to those who cared for me and most importantly, to myself. Just like Clark, 'WHATEVER THE FUTURE MAY HOLD, I'LL MAKE SURE TO HOLD ON TO WHAT IS RIGHT."

Hope you enjoyed this entry...bukas naman po ang sa pinakamamahal ko na si Mrs. Thoughtskoto, nakasaved pati text messages namin sa isa't each other. hehe. I will ask her consent na ipost iyun. Happy Valentines sa lahat ng mga minamahal namin and mga friends and Kablogs namin.



RJ said...

Huh! Ang haba! Pero walang mahabang lathalain kung tungkol sa pag-ibig!

Kapansin-pansin ang improvement sa writing ni Mr Thoughtskoto... U Maganda ang journal entry noong Feb. 14, 2002. Ang sa year 2000 po ba ang LOVE with Mrs. Thoughtskoto?! o",)

Kaabang-abang talaga ang mga SMS. Hahaha! Open book na ba ito? Parang nais ko ring buksan ang journals ko ah! Hahaha!

Ken said...

hey RJ, thanks! hehe, bilis ng comment ah. napabilib ako. Salamat po!

nagkakilala kami ni Mrs. Thoughtskoto before pero dito na ako saudi at nasa pinas sia nung nanliligaw ako.

Tapatan na yata ito! hehe

Anonymous said...

Oo may parteng cheesy! LOL... ang swerte naman ni mrs. thoughtskoto at meron syang mr. queso... ay!

biro lang ha... happy valentine's sa inyo! bilib naman ako at naitago mo pa journal mo nang halos isang dekada...

Ken said...

Thanks betchay from Korea! hehe, I feel honored na may kablogs ako na kagaya mo from Korea. Keep blogging! by the way I added you sa Kablogs ha, blog aggregating for all Pinoy's Abroad.

happy Valentines sau!

Anonymous said...

Happy Valentine's Day to you and Shiela!

Anonymous said...

aw, this is really sweet kenji! ;-) happy happy valentines to you and the missus! hugs from tokyo! ;-)

Ken said...

sir blogusvox. kater shokran! same to you po! salamat sa pagbisita sa aming munting tahanan.

ma'am caryn, salamat din po sa inyong pagbisita at pagbati... sweet day daw po ngayon, hehehe, kaya chokies ang agahan ko, chocolate cookies.

happy hearts day sau at kay sir jules!

Nebz said...

Hanep!!!!! Heart-warming!!!

Kapag nagmamahal talaga, lumalabas ang pagiging malikhain. I'm impressed!

Tsaka nakaka-uplift na sa mga madamdaming tagpo ng buhay mo, nandun palagi si God.

Happy valentine po sa inyong dalawa!

Ken said...

Nebzski, happy hearts day sau! maraming salamat sa warm comment, nakakataba ng puso. hehe, sana po you will be full of love lagi.

Desert Aquaforce said...

Astig naman! Hayop din sa documentation ah...pang-ISO na yata yan...Simulat't sapol pala ay poetic ka na? Pro ung iba mong journal entries hindi pa ako napapanganak non...Bwahahaha... Malesh medyo tinoyo lang ng kaunti.

Matanong nga - sino si MTR at san na cya ngaun? Si F2R ba'y si Ms. ThoughtsKo na? Dami pala nila noon ano? Anyhow, what's important is the now - one-Mrs-Mr. Hwag mag-away.

Sa tutut...maganda! Pang Valentines talaga.

Happy VDay uli sa inyong dalawa.

poging (ilo)CANO said...

wawawiwaw.....nakaka hmmmm naman....happy valentines day!

Ken said...

Nj maraming salamat sau. hehe, may patanong tanong ka pa ha. dami akong mahal NJ, pero di nila alam na mahal ko sila! yun nga ang problema, hehe, torpe-do!

MTR is May to Remember, naka post din dito sa blog, at si F2R is Forever to Remember, yang mga entries ko ay previously type and posted na rin dito, mga 2005 seguro na entries.

Thnks for dropping!

Ken said...

pogi, musta na? masandstorm din dito samin, mga three days pero medyo humupa na now, nagkalagnat nga ang baby ko.

belated hapi puos day sau!

pamatayhomesick said...

pards! ang sweat ah!..pogi points ka na naman sa kay labofmylyf mo.he he he.

hapi baleyntym!