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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Wherever You Are Now...

I warn you, malungkot tong post ko na ito.
But if you're a mother and you have a mother, read on.

I vividly remember the memories, even it happened 17 years ago.
I was sitting in a rocking chair that she used to sit and sing lullabies for us.
I was waiting for my 3 siblings to arrive from school.
I was waiting for them to hear the saddest news I have ever conveyed to three young kids, ages 15, 12 and 7.

"She's gone. She's gone now."

After 10 years that I was gone, travelling from different places and different countries,
nakauwi din ako. Me and my wife scheduled a time na bisitahin ang malamig and napakalungkot na lugar where my Mom was buried.

My cute and kikay sister painted Mom's tomb with color "Yellow" saying she was touched by the death of Cory and the yellow color that the late president and heroine will be always remembered. So don't wonder if it's colored yellow. :)

Our Mom is also our hero, infact, more than a hero, she is the best mother in this world...for us, her sons and daughter.

I was crying when we get there, and my loving wife hugged me and tapped me at the back. I cannot contain the heaviness that I was feeling deep within my heart, and the disappointments over the many dreams I have for her that was not realize. And oh, the happiness and joy we are experiencing now, and wished she too would have experience the same.

I cannot deny that my mind and my heart was still feeling hurt with what happened nearly 18 years ago, despite of the assurances that we will be together again one day, because I have just simple, and oh, it was only a simple dream for my mother, and I couldn't realize them now.

I just want her to have a little comfort in life, go shop to the malls and buy her favorite dress or shoe, dine out with her with my small family, cook her favorite foods with the comfort of technologies and appliances, and have her attend to her garden and orchids in the front yard.

Just that. Just that.

Today is her birthday, she is 58th years old now.

Happy happy Birthday!

Wherever you are, I terribly miss you, Mom. And I know you are happier now, but I am still hoping some many many years to come, we will be able to shop, dine, and play at your garden...


in Heaven.