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Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Terrible Price of Gossip

Our greatest enemy, sometimes, is ourselves. We love ourselves, we are proud of who we are and what we have accomplish, but we are beset sometimes of the failings and mistakes that drags us down, that if left uncheck will lead to sometimes, broken hearts, broken dreams, broken lives.

Mediocrity.

I might be using strong words today, please forgive me. I would like to unleash something that we been carrying and is too heavy for me and my little family.

Today I declare, unequivocally, and without terms and condition to surrender against one very familiar enemy. One that destroyed many OFW's work, destroyed cherished and long friendships and worst, even destroyed lives. One that becomes a Filipino habit or mentality, at home or abroad, and I believe one of the reason why we are still down there, while other's are already up there.

Today I declare war against GOSSIP!

Nung kararating lang ni Mrs. Thoughtskoto dito sa Saudi, she was 22 that time. A young wife, and without much knowledge about the culture, both Saudi and the OFW's, care free lang kaming nagwawalk along the kanto, or sa mall.

Nakikita ko sa mga mata ng ilang kababayan natin ang tingin na may mga namumuong tanong.

"Legal kaya itong mag-asawa."

"San kaya sila nakabili ng papel para nagsasabing mag-asawa sila?"

"Maganda ang babae, san kayang ospital nagtratrabaho ito?"

"Ano kayang pinakain ng lalaki kay babae at nagkagusto ito sa kanya?"(lols!)

Minsan may hindi nakatiis.

"Ah kuya, saan nagtratrabaho ang misis mo?" "Saan kayo nagpakasal ng misis mo?" "Pare, san ka nakakuha ng papel?" (meaning fake documents of marriage)

Malugod ko namang sinasagot at may mapagkumbabang boses.

"Ah, hindi po siya pumapasok, nasa bahay lang po siya."

"Ay, pagkatapos ng kasal namin sa Pilipinas, kinuha ko na po siya dito."

"Hehe, kuya, ano pong papel?"

One time nasa mall kami, nakakatawa ang sitwasyon dun kasi ang mga tao, kapag sa kabilang side nagchecheck ang mutawa (Religious Police), ang mga tao ay andun naman sa kabilang dulo. Wala pa kaming kaalam-alam ni Mrs. Thoughtskoto na may mutawa pala, wala pa kaming baby nun at paholding-holding hands pa kaming tumitingin sa isang store ng mga watches.

Nabigla ako ng biglang nag-alpasan palayo samin ang mga tao. Nabigla na lang ako may tumabi na dalawang police, pinagitnaan kami ni Mrs. Thoughtskoto. Tapos may isang malaking Arabo, at mahabang bigote ang lumapit at tinapik ako sa balikat asking for my Iqama and papers. Kinabahan ako nun, kasi sa gitna ng mall, daan ang nakatingin sa amin sa malayuan, samantalang si Mrs. Thoughtskoto ay parang Miss Universe na nagwawave ng kanyang mga kamay, sabay lingon dito at duon para sa kanyang mga 'fans'. Hehe, joke lang.

Binigay ko ang aking Iqama or National ID, pati ang Nat'l ID ni Mrs. Thoughtskoto, at papers namin sa Marriage. Sinipat ng mutawa, nagthank you and nagsorry saying that they'll have to do this just for checking. I said, "No Problem at all. Thank you too!"

Umalis na sila habang sinusuyod ang mall, at ang mga tao ay umiiwas naman ng palayo sa kanila, habang dumami naman ang mga tao at fans ni Mrs. Thoughtskoto na nagsilapitan sa amin.

"Napahiya sila, kabayan." Sambit ng isang Pinoy. "Akala nila makakahuli na sila." Sagot naman ng isa. "Saan kayo sa atin?" Tanong pa ng isa. For a newly married couple, she's early 20's and I am late on my 20's kinda unsual here. Kaya kami cheneck kasi bibihira ang magkaroon ng family status na bata pa. To which I am humbly grateful.

We have been a victim of gossip, I have blog about that before. In fact, we asked one of our room occupants to leave our flat because of the issue of gossip. I have heard that the recent tragedy in Khobar where a Filipino murdered a fellow Pinay is because of gossip. Terrible must be that gossip that leads people to take lives.

I have heard countless of stories about gossips and its terrible price. It is okay to pass on information or to speak about someone if he/she is not around as long as it is uplifting and positive.

There are many brothers and sisters to GOSSIP.

FAULTFINDING

BACKBITING

MURMURING

ENVYING

COVETING

JEALOUSY

Pride is the mother of them all. I'll call them all the "Secret Combinations" of our time.


Recently, I received a call from a mother working in a hospital na kakilala namin.

Tsiswhiz: "Ken, may asawa ba si Hanah?"

Ken: "Ha, opo meron po nasa Iloilo."

TsisWhiz: "Kasi nakita ko siya kanina may kasamang lalaki dito sa mall.

Ken: "Ah, baka po brother niya o kasamahan sa simbahan. Kelan po ninyo nakita? Siya po ba talaga ang nakita niyo?"

TsisWhiz: Mga 7:00PM kanina. Oo siya talaga yun. Bakit siya nagdadate eh may asawa pala siya."

Ken: "Ate, kasama po namin si Hanah mga 6-7pm, nandito po siya sa bahay kanina pa.

TsisWhiz: tot...tot...tot... (cellphone off)

I encourage all, na if wala na po tayong masasabing mabuti or ikakabuti, maliban kung constructive criticism or positive commendation, wag na po tayong magsalita. There are things better left unspoken, and we have far more weakness and failings to attend to, including the Thoughtskoto's, than to mind the lives of others who might be far better than we are. Only God knows the intents and desires of our hearts. Only Him, and Him alone can tell who and what you or me really are.

Pagbabago, begins within us.

©2009 THOUGHTSKOTO